ASHES
by Broken Robot Dreams
Summary: "Never let go." I whisper. "I'll never let go. I'll always find my way back to you. Right here, this is where I belong." Before I close my eyes to sleep again, Peeta fighting off the nightmares. I realize, I was the girl on fire, the mockingjay, now raising out of the ASHES.
1. Chapter 1

- ASHES -

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This is my fan-fiction on what happens after Mockingjay by COLLINS. I couldn't accept that that was it. I wanted to go the store and by what would be the fourth book in the phenomenal series. Even if it was just about the healing process of Peeta and Katniss and how Katniss finally allows herself to realize her love for Peeta.

I don't own any of the production values or characters.

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Peeta and I grow back together. There are still moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs on until the flashbacks are over. I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.

So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?"

I tell him, "Real."

I look into his eyes and know he knows that it's true, it is real. It has been a constant battle within myself to admit it, that I love him, all-throughout the Hunger Games. The night's I held the pearl he gave me in the bunker's in 13; I thought about it. Thought about it when Prim asked me if I loved him. Turning that pearl in my hands, over and over. Asking myself, Do I love Peeta?. I have never said it allowed but I've got to try. Even Gale was aware of this during my attempted mission to find Snow and kill him in the Capitol. When we were hiding away in Tigris's shop. I would choose the one I cannot survive without and everyone knew that it was Peeta, except me.

I've loved him since the day I picked up the Dandelion at school and only now, through everything we've gone through I realize this. Through the warming kisses he gives me that leaves that stirring feeling deep within my soul, leaving me hungry for more. Yes, I finally feel as though I am going to be okay. He hold's me in his arms, protecting me from the past and my nightmare's. I slowly drift off into a sleepy haze...

_I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming about Prim. Prim, with my father's cool air and my mother's calmness as she tends to wounds. Mature and womanly, in her small figure. I'm reaching out for her, to hold her but she's running away from me and I'll never catch her. _

I can feel myself starting to squirm and Peeta tightens his hold around me.

"You're okay Katniss," I hear him say into my ear, "It's just a dream." He gently runs his hand down my arm. I feel instant relief and open my eyes.

"I dreamed about Prim. I was running after her and couldn't catch her." I choke back tears, that fall anyway. Peeta brushes them away.

"Perhaps, she is trying to tell you something. We'll talk about it more tomorrow, close your eyes." He comforts me. That's what he's good at, dealing with thing's so calmly. I decide he is right and turn onto my side, where he turns too and cuddles me - holding me.

"Never let go." I whisper.

"I'll never let go. I'll always find my way back to you. Right here, this is where I belong."

Before I close my eyes to sleep again, Peeta fighting off the nightmares. I realize, I was the girl on fire, the mockingjay, now raising out of the Ashes.


	2. Chapter 2

Leave reveiw's if you like. Sorry, I'm not the best at Grammar or Spelling!

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I wake in the morning nightmare free. Buttercup is at my feet, purring. I pat him gently on the head. I smell the familiar scents of bread coming from the kitchen. A smell, I've replaced when I get the rare, eerie aroma of death roses. Of snow.

"Come on Buttercup." I say, "Breakfast." Rather then following me downstairs, he curl's up on the unmade sheet's with a small meow. I figure Peeta has already fed him. I give him another pat on the head and go downstairs to where Peeta is waiting for me, breakfast ready.

"Thanks."

"Made breakfast just the way you like it." and he has. Fresh, warm handmade bread with butter, egg's and some sausage and pigeon meat I hunted the other day.

"I called Haymitch earlier, he didn't answer. I took it upon myself to go over there and wake him up. He's coming over for Breakfast." Peeta say's setting two more steaming plates at the kitchen table. He sits down next to me.

"Did you want to talk about your dream before Haymitch get's here?" He asks. I shake my head no. Shortly after Haymitch stumbles in. We hardly knock on door's anymore. He reek's like booze.

"Goodmorning Peeta, Sweetheart." He sits down at the table. Scruffy, unshaven, grimy. Peeta takes it upon himself to invite Haymitch over for Breakfast every morning. I think he is trying to make us a family. In a way we are, with the way we protect one another.

"Good morning Haymitch." I say, he grumbles picking up his fork.

"Good morning. Glad you could make it Haymitch."

We sit and we eat, mostly in silence. After breakfast Haymitch gives us a thanks and stumbles out the door and returns home. I help Peeta with the dishes. Greasy Sae will come later to cook us dinner, she always comes, accustomed to taking care of me before Peeta came and brought me back to life.

"Katniss, I thought about something earlier that we could do so we don't forget, so no-one forgets."

"and what was that?"

"I dreamed about the Quarter Quell last night, about how I painted a picture of Rue and you wrote in juice Cennca's name. I thought we could make a book of pictures... of our loved one's, specific moments..."

"That's a good idea!" As long as I have nightmare's, I'll never forget.

"I thought we could call it ASHES, the fallen hero's, our friends, family."

I decide Peeta's idea is a good idea. I don't want to forget. I don't want anybody to forget. As he start's painting, to escape and remember. I go outside, to where he planted me one of the most beautiful gifts. Primrose. I water the plant's, one of Buttercup's favorite places to sleep now. When I water, I sing. I sing and I think of Rue and Prim. Peeta loves to hear me sing from the window where he paints, he knows if I sing I'm most likely not to have nightmares.

If Peeta has nightmare's I don't know anymore, he either keeps them to himself or has stopped having them. I think back to when he told me, his nightmares usually have to do with losing me. He has me now.

Gale used to call, now he's busy. I see him on t.v. sometimes. We've grown apart. I can survive without him. There is no hole, no pain, thinking about him and I leading two different lives, like there is when I think of Peeta. Peeta, who is so kind to me. The boy with the bread, has now become the man with the arms to protect me. I wear the locket he gave me everyday. I've replaced the picture of Gale with a picture of Peeta. I lost the pearl somewhere or misplaced it. I haven't seen it in awhile.

I sit thinking about my hunt the other day and about my thoughts about district 12. It's always been home, but what made it home was Peeta. Peeta is my home. Always.

I hunt a lot more now then I did when I first got back to district 12. I use to be the mockingjay, Peeta jokes with me, now I'm a phenix and I didn't get my spark to rise out of the ashes until I saw him. Till he came back to 12, to me. He'd always come back to me and I'd always need him.


End file.
